Page 2: Life in the Mirror
This is going to probably sound ignorant to you but I am surprised that I am getting old. You know how when things happen in life like illnesses, accidents, or divorce, and you are surprised, taken aback even; because these things only happen to other people? Well as odd as this sounds that’s kind of the way I think about getting old. Not getting older. I know we are all getting older. We have been since the beginning but now I am looking at the possibility that not only am I getting older but I might just be getting old.
Now don’t get your bloomers in a bunch grandma; I am not dissing old people. I know they are smarter, wiser, and more rational than younger folks. I have already welcomed and made full use of those benefits. But they also have gray hair, wrinkles, and an array of aches and pains and I am having a hard time imagining myself as one of them.
I think I have a good outlook on life. I’m active, social, and fairly happy. I firmly believe these are all choices that I have made. Someone with my same life could easily choose otherwise by focusing on the negatives aspects. I choose not to. I vainly believe this will keep me young.
My former brother in law used to have a saying about “the old people coming to get you” any time one of us would blow off a chance to go to a social function with the rest of the family. Twenty years ago it was a joke. Now that I am firmly planted on the upside of 50 it’s probably time I faced reality; the joke is on me.
It began when I was 40 and I went to the doctor about headaches. I described how when trying to read my magazine at breakfast the words on the page would blur. He almost laughed at me. This was the first time I heard the expression “Well at your age…” I’ll admit I got a little defensive and blurted out “You’re older than I am!” He did laugh that time. I didn’t. I was too puzzled. He suggested I get some reading glasses at the dollar store. I did. And that helped…for a while.
Then my OB/GYN dropped the OB and moved into his own office. I was pleased when he was more available but at my first annual in the new place he patted my hand and said “I have given up delivering babies and now just want to concentrate on ladies your age.”
What? What is that supposed to mean?
I could still have a baby, if I hadn’t chose to have a ligation!
And for the record this doctor is older than me too.
In my lifetime, I have seen beautiful, rich, and famous women like Elizabeth Taylor, Sharon Stone and now, (dare I say Madonna?) get old. If it happens to them it only stands to reason it could happen to me too.
Could happen? You see, I am still in denial.
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