This is a continuing story. To read subsequent entries go here As I Sat on the Bus.
Is it sad to look so forward to your bus ride home? I can put my head back,close my eyes. and go anywhere I want to go. We had such a beautiful weekend. Damn that Ray, why can’t he be like that all the time? What good am I doing my girls to show I will accept his drunken and whoring behavior in exchange for a few good moments of family time? Dammit!
But that family time is the sweetest moments I know, and I know it’s the same for each of the four of us. I just don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I ain’t near smart enough for this life. I coulda been, if that SOB hadn’t got me pregnant when I was 16. I almost think my momma was glad, it gave her an excuse to throw me out; one less mouth to feed.
Ray, he’s a good man, he stepped up when we was so young. He got us a place and at 19 took a job with the sanitation department. Oh man, he would come home stinking of garbage and sometimes while we made love in the shower we would leave Roxanne to roll around on our double mattress, we was too poor to even have a boxspring. We probably shouldn’t have done that but she never got hurt. Once she rolled off but she was just cooing and sucking her thumb when we came out of the shower. She was such a happy baby.
Damn,we was so young then and so much in love.
I know he still loves me that much. I just know he does. Damn him.
This post is in response the writing challenge As I Sat on the Bus.