Welcome to Friday Fictioneers where each week close to 100 people participate in a flash fiction challenge based on a photo prompt.
This week’s photo: Copyright:Douglas Macallroy
And now my 100 word story:
I hadn’t been to the house in over a month and I missed it. I dreaded this but it had to be done. Joe and I walked to the backyard, my hands inaccessibly stuffed into my sweater pockets. We have a beautiful patio back there; a couple of wrought iron benches and a koi pond with a waterfall. It’s peaceful. It’s our sanctuary.
I fed the koi and sat down opposite him.
“I’ve missed this place” I sighed.
“I’ve missed you” he answered me.
Summoning my courage I looked him in the eye. “I’m sorry Joe, I want a divorce”.
The Day After 
Like the story although it is quite sad.
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The Koi Blues. Perfect emotion creation,
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Thank you.
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Sad, yet beautifully narrated. 🙂
-HA
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Why, thank you.
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very strong emotions. i’m torn between feeling sorry for Joe and feeling happy for her…
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Very good. I’m glad that came through. It’s why I left out any mention of children.
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Way to ruin a “peaceful” setting, Dawn. Seems you and I have a knack for divorce in these stories… Ruthless is the Dawn. 😉
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You know what they say; write what you know.
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Well, that’s scary. I’m married 27 years, but maybe there’s something lurking under there. 😉
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Talk about the ending contradicting the lovely setting though you gave us a clue. Nicely done!
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Thank you Perry. I especially appreciate the exclamation point! 😉
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Dear Dawn,
She is a strong woman who knows her mind. Plenty of better fish in that pond. You remember that, too. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you Doug.
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Dear Dawn,
You’ve captured the loneliness in this peaceful setting. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle.
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You did a great job giving us such a peaceful setting with such a tragic ending.
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Thank you.
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You turned that nicely… well done.
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Thanks Sandra.
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It’s sad when a house represents peace and comfort but the marriage does not. Well told.
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Thank you.
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You’ve captured the uneasiness of the situation well. Very stark.
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Thank you.
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You told a sad but very human tale, darling.
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Yup, this stuff happens all the time.
Nothing lasts forever.
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Hi Dawn,
Wanted to thank you for being a faithful weekly reader of my stories. You usually read mine before I get to yours, so I’m glad to be reading yours first this week. Speaking of your story, you found a different direction to go and captured well the tension at the end of a relationship. Ron
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, Ron.
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Well, it’s sad, but well done, Dawn. That line “my hands inaccessibly stuffed into my sweatshirt pockets ” really set the stage perfectly for the ending.
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Thanks so much for telling me that Sandra. For me, at least, when I write stuff like this I never really know if it comes through to the reader like it does in my head. I really appreciate reading that. Thanks again.
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Well done, Dawn. I can see the beautiful koi pond. It’s a great backdrop for serious discussion. I also imagine a grey day, It’s a perfect set up for the sad, awful reality that follows. – Amy
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Thank you Amy.
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Unexpected twist – slowly something “uncomfortable” comes up between the lines. there is a slight idea that not everything is so in harmony like the Koi pond…
Well done!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Thank you.
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I liked the way you lulled us (and Joe) with your tranquil setting, nicely hiding the inner turmoil.
Dee
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Thanks Dee.
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It’s sad that the end comes in a place so tranquil, and yet fitting that only the fish are witness. You kept me off balance in this short; I like that.
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Thanks Cherry.
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Poor Joe. I wonder if this felt like a punch to the gut, or if he knew it might be coming. I’ll say one thing, she didn’t dilly-dally around, she cut right to the chase.
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I think those words are a punch in the gut even when you know they are coming.
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Hi Dawn. I like when you write about confrontations such as this. Good story.
I have to ask, were her hands intentionally inaccessible to avoid Joe’s own hands? Or was it cold (hence the sweater)?
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A little of both. It was chilly but it was their custom to walk hand and hand to the koi pond. She didn’t want to “lead him on”.
Oh..and thanks for stopping by 🙂
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This is a gut-wrenching piece, Dawn. And to think it happens to so many marriages. It is sad.
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It is. I found writing it so disturbing I edited out the children. That helped.
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Very sad, but well written. Bittersweet, I would say.
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Thank you.
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