Moved by Music

This is a hard post for me to complete because as much as music has influenced me and marked times in my life no time did it have a greater impact than when I was going through my second divorce. The new millennium was still new and my 3 year marriage, at least for my husband, had gotten old. I waited five years before I agreed to marry him telling him I didn’t want to get married just to get divorced again. I should have waited a little longer.

Our break up was fueled by illegal drugs, infidelity, and alcohol. I thought what we had was good but he chose a life so far removed from the one we shared I didn’t recognize it, or him. He used this fact to continually mess with me, telling me it was the drugs and asking me to take him back and help him; only to disappear again on Friday, or Tuesday, or all of the above. And I allowed it.

The song It’s Been Awhile by Staind was the theme song for this time in my life. It was popular then, sometimes he would sing it to me when he was pleading his way back in and the words just seemed to fit.

To this day I can not stand to hear it because it brings back memories of the pain. I can not even listen to the voice of Aaron Lewis (the lead singer). I will change the station, walk away, whatever it takes not to go there.

I will post the Youtube but please wait for me to get out of ear shot before you click it.