It’s Been 6 Days

I told my mother I have been clean for 6 years. Truth is it has only been 6 months but it has been six years since I have seen her so it was a lie I could live with, aka a lie I thought I could get away with.

Not that I care, really. When I am clean it takes every ounce of determination and concentration to stay that way; and when I am high, well what the hell do I care about anything when I am high? Isn’t that why I get high? Lol.

I read online this week where a famous actor overdosed. He died with a needle in his arm. “Wow, must have been some good shit” was my first thought. The online community was up in arms. “He had children, money, and fame; everything to live for, why would he do that?

“Well duh” is all I wanted to say. “It ain’t like he did it on purpose. He didn’t mean to die. He was just trying to get high.” But I made no comments. Most people don’t understand. Even the alcoholics, the pot heads and the coke heads; well maybe the coke heads, they get it; somewhat. But most of them, they don’t get it. And as hard as it is for them to understand it is just as hard for me to explain.

How do you tell people you would rather give up a life of normalcy to stick a needle in your arm? How do you explain the craving that is so overwhelming it makes good mothers into bad, children into foster children?

I’m not like most of them. I work. I don’t have my kids. I lost them the last time I went to jail, but I work.
I try. I try real hard. I just wish people would understand.

I told my mother I have been clean for 6 months; truth is it’s only been six days.

Georgetown(w)

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17 thoughts on “It’s Been 6 Days

  1. Really makes you think not to judge people because we might not have a clue as to what shoes they have been walking in…great read!

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  2. Pingback: Six Word Saturday: I Want to Start Writing More | The Day After

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