I remember when, my step mother turned 32 she complained to me that she was old. I was a teenager and 32 didn’t seem old to me, 32 seemed cool. “At 32”, I thought,” you are all grown up. You have things figured out, and you’re settled. “32 seemed easy and I looked forward to it.
By the time I was 32 I had two teenagers and a baby and was well on my way to being divorced. But a few years later I met a man and for the first time, I fell in love.
We met in December and by the following Christmas we were engaged. We lived together another 3 years before marrying; enjoying each other as only young lovers can. We left each other silly love notes, played scrabble on the weekend or had friends in for a game of cards. People loved being around us because when you are in love you smile a lot and people smile back.
In the summer we spent every moment we could on the river. Friday nights were the best as it was just my youngest and he and I. Saturdays our friends and family would join us and the fishing and swimming in the river, was only surpassed by the eating, drinking, and laughter on shore. To this day if you ask anyone that was part of our crew during that time they will tell you these were the best years of our lives; or at least the most fun.
By the time we tied the knot things were already changing between us. We shouldn’t have married and there went my theory about being so smart and having things figured out by the time you were in your mid-thirties.
He started cheating on me the year we turned 40.
I missed him for a long time. He used to call me when he was drunk to tell me how much he missed me.
He hasn’t done that in over a year but I think if he calls I am going to ask him “When you are sitting on the bank, fishing pole in hand, listening to the river flow downstream; Do You Ever Think of Me?”