Friday Fictioneers: Sightseeing with Sis

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers where each week close to 100 people participate in a flash fiction challenge based on a photo prompt.

This week’s photo: Copyright: Melanie Greenwood

three_chairs

And now my 100 word story:

My sister sits across from me furiously sliding potato chips into her mouth. “She’s still in that house” she tells me between bites. “That’s why I became so light-headed”.

“I think you are dehydrated”

“I haven’t eaten, that’s true, but I am telling you her spirit is in that house!”

I try to be patient with my sister, I know she believes what she is telling me although she says she feels better when she has finished her chips.

I set my glass of tea down and look her in the eye. “I just don’t feel it, sis”.

Suddenly the wind picks up my ice tea and drops into my lap.

“Do you feel it now?”

59 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: Sightseeing with Sis

  1. Whoever ‘she’ is, it doesn’t sound like she’s someone you’d want joining you for coffee, or anything. That phrase ‘furiously sliding potato chips into her mouth’ is so graphic. I could almost taste them. 🙂 I wonder if I’ve got any…

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  2. The touch of a ghost for the week of Halloween. Nicely handled, Dawn. In my opinion, this is one of your strongest stories recently. It has a touch of mystery combined with coincidence that just might be something more. You packed a punch in only 100 words. Well done.

    Marie Gail

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  3. Like Sandra, I also really like the line ‘furiously sliding potato chips into her mouth,’ it just really gets across her character so simply. A couple of very minor things – did you mean ‘My sister sits’ rather than ‘My sister sets’, at the start, and I think you need the line ‘That’s why I became so lightheaded’ in speech marks.
    Claire

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  4. Nice twist at the end. I was starting to think she was “disturbed” or maybe sugar-deficient, as I’m sure her sister was, until those last two lines.

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  5. Dawn, That would make a believer of me. That ghost is not only in the house, she’s following and that’s trouble. O_o I’m now hungry for chips also. Well written and perfect for Halloween. 🙂 — Susan

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  6. Ohhh Dawn! Sisters, eh? Always issues with them 😛
    Great Halloween ghost! Though, knowing you like to write romances etc…I think it’s the first wife still in this house!
    Ellespeth

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  7. Great dialogue, Dawn. Connie and I bought Mom & Dad’s house and have been renting it out for about 4 years. Dad passed away there (under hospice care). There have been some strange things happen and tenants have reported seeing an image of a man staring at them through the window of the “old house” (used for storage since I was a child). Your tale is very believable. Well done.

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