Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers uses a picture prompt and asks for stories between 75-175 words but again..I went over! I’m so sorry but some stories just cry out to be told in their entirety and this was one of them.
This picture
Inspired my story:
I knew this was going to be my favorite field trip ever. I already had a crush on Peter; he was so handsome and he smiled at me all the time. He wasn’t mean like the other boys who punched me in the arm or threw erasers at me. Peter was shy and sweet.
The aquarium was dark and romantic. I was staring at the coral reef and he came up beside me and held my hand. I looked at him in the semi-darkness and smiled back. He’s so cute! Did I already say that? Well I don’t care, he is.
We had the best time. He held my hand all day and all the other girls knew he was my boyfriend. He was my first boyfriend, really, unless you count Sammy who kissed me when I was six. I don’t count that. It was three years ago and I barely remember it.
Monday was our first day back to school after our trip but Peter wasn’t there. Everyone asked me where he was but I didn’t know. Finally after a week our teacher told us that Peter’s mother had died. She said he would be back to school soon and that we should all be extra nice to him.
I was so excited to see him but when he came back he didn’t look like my Peter at all. He wore dirty clothes and his hair wasn’t combed. He never smiled at me or anyone else any more.
I guess Peter and I broke up.
Oh dear, young love
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Very young!
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What a sad story, Dawn.
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Yes, it is a little bit from my childhood.
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Oh… this is such a bitter-sweet story! Poor Peter. I can just feel the grief he has over losing his mother that I could cut it with a knife. So sad how his grief spilled over to his classmates.
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Yes. My mother died young but I was an adult at least. I can’t imagine…
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I’m sorry to hear about your mother dying young, and you still being young, even though you were an adult. I would hate to think about losing my mother at a very young age.
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My father’s mother lived to be in her 90’s. My parents had long since divorced and my mother passed when she died. I remember looking over at my dad and saying “It doesn’t matter when your mom dies, it sucks.”
“Yes it does” he answered me with a hug.
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That’s is sad. You’re right, I’m sure it doesn’t matter when she dies, it sucks!
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Yup 😦
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Oh that’s so sad. Poor Peter who couldn’t love because his mother was dead.
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His heart was too broken 😦
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Really sad for Peter, and sad for his friend as well.
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Yes. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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I enjoyed your writing. It is a sad story with a touch of coming of age to it. 🙂
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Thank you.
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Very sad
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Such a sad story. I hope Peter learns to smile again, though I doubt he’ll ever again quite be the boy she knew. Nicely done.
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Thank you, yes I agree, he is forever changed.
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I love this main character – being nine and so experienced in the boyfriend department 😛 She’s just too young to understand his loss. Nice description of Peter returning – his appearance and mood.
Ellespeth
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It’s so sad for a child to lose a parent and his mother’s death obviously hit Peter hard. His condition on returning to school is interesting. I suppose it could suggest that his father (or other relatives) were also grieving too much to bother about Peter’s clothes and appearance. Lovely descriptions from a child’s viewpoint about her first taste of young love.
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Thank you Millie.
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such a lovely, yet sad story Dawn 🙂
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Thank you.
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Such a sad story Dawn. I feel so sad for Peter losing his mother and I thought that maybe he wasn’t being looked after properly with his dirty clothes etc. Great ending sentence.
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I’m thinking Peter’s mom dying really left a big hole in their family. Dad tries to step up but he is clueless and grieving himself.
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