Friday Fictioneers: Turning Point

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers where each week close to 100 people participate in a flash fiction challenge based on a photo prompt.

This week’s photo: Copyright: Claire Fuller


And now my 100 word story:

The phone startled him. It was three am but the sound of his ex-wife’s voice made him sit straight up.

“It’s Bobby. They had to give him Narcan. He’s in the ICU”.
Tim was completely awake now.

He knew what this meant. The four-month stint in rehab 6 months ago had failed. Bobby had relapsed; once again.

“He has to live with you”.
“I can’t do this”.

Tim heard the pain in the voice of the mother of his child.
He wanted to save them both.

Holding the phone tight in his hand Tim stepped into his trousers, one leg at a time.
“I’ll be there by noon” he promised.

59 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: Turning Point

  1. There’s some saying about once married, always married. Looks like it’s true for Tim. Tough on the current partner.
    Love the one at a time way of putting on trousers – that’s normal for blokes, isn’t it?


  2. I know someone whose son has been in and out of recovery programs. It’s such a rollercoaster. You capture the pain and disparagement so well.

    By the way, I don’t understand the photo, either–it does look institutional, though.


  3. Good effort, enjoyed the sense of despair you wove into the dialogue. My only crit would be the ending. Not sure we need to be told he put his trousers on “one leg at a time”…had me thinking of trousers which come in multiple pieces…lol. See you next week.


  4. The trousers seem to have divided readers – don’t mean to be flippant with your sad story. I really liked the down-to-earth element of that line, the contrast it creates.
    Very moving story.


    • Thank you. I think out of context it makes no sense to have it in there but perhaps if you understand why I wrote it that way it makes more sense.
      Drugs simply do not care who you are, how much money you have, whether you come from a broken home or doting parents. The sooner, as a society, we accept, that this can happen to any family the better chance we have of combating it.
      This can happen in any family, we all put our pants on one leg at a time.


  5. I think I’ve missed something here, Dawn. To me “I’ll be there by noon” implies this does not have Tim’s utmost attention. It’s three A.M. now, he ought to be rushing out. Seems to me he wants to help but he’ll get there when he gets there. What am I missing?


  6. Painful and excellent, and I, too, love the trouser line, I think, just as you intended, it adds a touch of a reality everyone is familiar with. And Tim is a good guy, accepting responsibility. I also love the title. I hope your friends get through this.


Comments are closed.