Friday Fictioneers: Cinderella in the City

Welcome to Friday Fictioneers where each week close to 100 people participate in a flash fiction challenge based on a photo prompt.

ce-grate

This week’s photo: Copyright C. E. Ayr

And now my 100 word story:

Maggie found Josh on the curb, sitting, smoking, sipping vodka from a paper bag.

“What are you doing Josh?”
“What’s it look like I am doing?”
“Yes, but why? You promised.”
“I lied. I’m a piece of shit” Josh yelled and jumped to his feet.

Startled Maggie fell backward and lost her shoe. She stood and turned to run. Josh hurled her shoe after her.
“Run away bitch! I’m a piece of shit!”

67 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: Cinderella in the City

  1. Feels like a bit of something. I’d like to know more. One crit, I’d move the word “sitting” in the first line i.e. “Maggie found Josh sitting on the curb, smoking and sipping vodka from a paper bag”.

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  2. The mismatch between the title and the story (which is worryingly like real life for too many couples) is really clever. The sad thing is they’ll probably make up and live crappily ever after.

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  3. Dear Dawn,

    I’m under the distinct impression that Josh is a piece of shit. She’s better off running away and not looking back. Nicely done…although I’d consider losing the second ‘piece of shit’ line. It seems he could say something else in one of those lines.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  4. Good story of spiralling deeper and deeper into… it’s good of her to run, because she doesn’t seem to be the one able to help him, only he can do that. With his low self-esteem he’d need serious help and I can’t help feeling sorry for him, too. The more he slides, the worse he feels about himself, and self-pity only goes so far. If it’s not self-pity but recognition, there might be hope.

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  5. Great story to go with the photo. I kept seeing a leaf in the grate, not a shoe. It wasn’t until reading your story that I saw the shoe. Silly me! Anyway. I love the way the dialog carries the story. Excellent!

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  6. Pingback: Cinderella in the City: The Prequel | The Day After

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