We have a young woman in our office who is a little rough around the edges. I’ve worked with her on and off for years, I know how she is, or I thought I did. At shift change one morning this week I heard her speaking with a representative in a voice I had never heard before. It was quite weird, really. She hung up the phone and went back to being herself but I found it so curious to see this other “professional” side of her and it got me thinking about how we all have so many sides to us.
I’ve always considered myself to be fairly genuine and open. I’m not bragging or saying that is a better way to be I am simply stating that I feel that is the way I am. I know that plenty of people who think they know me would be surprised at who I really am but I wonder if I ever surprise those closest to me.
During and after both of my divorces and my broken engagement I found it disconcerting to see these men in such a very different light that I barely recognized them. I felt betrayed by what I considered to be their fraud.
Often I think the real case is we decide how someone is in our heads, we judge them, and classify them into this neat little compartment and when they stray outside the lines we are surprised at their behavior. It’s really not them. It’s us. Which is to say, it’s not you, it really is me.