Friday Fictioneers: Susceptible


Courtney smiled at the sky. She loved it when the sun backlit the clouds. It reassured her there was a heaven.

When both of her parents were killed in an auto accident two years ago she had questioned the existence of God. Her pastor tried to counsel her but she was an angry young woman and used her words to distance herself from those who tried to comfort her.

Then one day she met Alex and he brought her here. He introduced her to a mother and father who showed her how to experience God’s love with her earthly body.

She finally had a family again.

clouds-above-the-trees

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly 100 word writing challenge inspired by a picture prompt. Click here to read other stories.

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70 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: Susceptible

  1. I, too, felt suddenly she was being “indoctrinated” into a cult… ugh…
    I think the “A mother and A father is what really suggests this.
    Well done!

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  2. I thought this was a sweet, innnocent tale – then experiencing the world through er earthly body just sounded a bit creepy! That girl should watch out I’d say! Subtly told, Dawn

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  3. I’m hoping she is safe. There is something so ominous in the title, that only becomes darker as we move into the story. The second to the last sentence is quite scary. So much in what is not said…

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  4. I need to read this flashes a lot more more carefully because I’ve missed key clues in a few already this week and have needed the comments to point out what’s clearly there.
    My flash has a similar take to yours on the grief front but with a young boy as protagonist.
    xx Rowena

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      • Dawn, funny you should mention reading the title. My daughter is sitting for our local selective school tests this week and that’s something her tutor mentioned to me. She talked about how many kids forget to read the title and I thought of myself. Guilty as charged…oops!
        xx Rowena

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  5. There’s something fishy about this, Dawn. I’m not persuaded the new Mother and Father are going to be her best bet for this life or the next. I’m not surprised you saw heaven in this picture; my character saw God too.

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  6. I like that you left this open to interpretation. The end of the story leaves us walking a tightrope. Fall to the left and it’s heavenly, fall to the right and it’s hell. Well done, Dawn.

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  7. Sweet, Dawn. And very hopeful. I know of a LOT of people who actually have had that type of event happen in their life and things changed for the better. Great story.

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  8. Beautiful! Mind if I share it with a few people outside of wordpress. So many are hurting in our area right now. Such an uplifting story might help them. ❤ ❤ ❤ infinitum!

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  9. This is a brilliantly disguised piece of work. The title confirms the suspicion hinted at by “earthly body.” The writing lures you into believing it’s all innocent and then the sinister undertone, great stuff.

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  10. Upon reading the other comments, I, too, picked up on the cult vibe, as these groups tend to be really nice at first (called “love bombing”) to recruit people, then, once someone joins, they turn out to not be what they seemed. (Sometimes people need therapy when they get out.) They often take advantage of the vulnerable.

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