Fickle

This week I am participating in a new flash fiction challenge.

Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers uses a picture prompt and asks for stories between 75-175 words. I managed to pare this one down from over 200 to 176.

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Jackson worked in the shop across the street from the book store. Every day at 3:15 he watched a beautiful auburn-haired woman enter the store. She always bought a cup of coffee and some days, a book.

Jackson tried to be outside at 3:15, sweeping the walk, hoping to catch her eye. But she never noticed him.

He didn’t read or drink coffee but after a month of watching her he gathered the courage to be in the book store at 3:13 in time to “run into her”.

He walked into the store. He nervously looked around and while watching the front door he absent-mindedly asked the woman behind the counter for the time.

“3:15” he heard her say and her voice was that of an angel. He looked up to find a pair of beautiful green eyes sparkling at him. His mouth went dry and he stammered to speak. “A cup of coffee, please. Black”

The green eyed beauty smiled at him, a smile so dazzling, he barely saw the red head enter the store.

23 thoughts on “Fickle”

  3. Hi Dawn, did you link your story to InLinkz for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers? The reason I ask is because I had to delete 2 links that one of the participants put in. Instead of putting their story url into the link they put the url to the post I sent out to everyone – twice! I deleted both of those and now I don’t see your story in the grid. Please make sure it is still there and if not please re-link. I apologize. PJ

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  4. I didn’t see your title and when I finished reading, that is the first word that came to my mind. Very good! I really liked the flow of the story and how he was so infatuated with the red head but fell for green eyes. 😀 I think he was just ready for love and “Venus” was steering him in the right direction. 🙂 Thank you for participating. I enjoyed reading your story and I hope you continue!

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  7. He is fickle indeed.
    But at the same time, I do agree with luckyjc007. Sometimes, we are so focused on one thing, that what we truly desire is missed.
    Great little story, my attention was grabbed throughout!

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  9. Oh I like this. This follows the idea that love can find you when you least expect it. That’s how I met my husband…well not in a coffee shop..but when I least expected it. Anyway, I also liked the specificity, like the exact time, you didn’t choose 3 or 4 o’clock but 3:15. Nice job!

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